Spiced Pumpkin Pecan Cinnamon Toast Crunch Ice Cream Pie
· Keebler: Ready Crust Graham Pie Crust™, 9oz (Pie Sold Separately)
· Blue Bell Spiced Pumpkin Pecan Ice Cream™, • gallon (Gold Rim & Cows)
· Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal™, 12.2oz (Happy Baker with Magic Bowl)
Prep Time: Answer 3 phone calls. Ask manager for restroom break. Wait.
(1.107 hrs labor=$11.74 after tax=1 pie +leftover ingredients)*
1- Ice cream’s gotta melt.
Cold blocks of sugar make no good pie.
Leave on counter 40 minutes-ish.
2- Unwrap graham cracker crust.
Keebler elves hide surprises in the crevices.
Layered plastic and cardboard.
3- Sloop 3/4th’s tub of now milk-ish
orange gloop into the graham pan.
(Oak trees grow thick in the dreams of Cinna-sticks, sleeping jealous
of their sturdy bark.) Plastic spatula smooth it.
4- Freeze the pie.
You need to freeze this pie.
Leave it on the counter
& rivers of pumpkins will thump
on your floor. The ice trays are filled
with smooth smoke, and could use a
5- Time for topping. Perhaps the smell of
Sunday morning Pokémon and “Damn it,
Nikolas. I’m never buying that cereal again
if you don’t come clean up your mess right
now” is mixing with the rent and water bill,
but you’re kneading like a Ritalin™’d
baker before his first catered wedding.
Your hands sifted fine powder over the
counter, Cinna-breath fills your lungs
If you wanted powdered brown sugar
and cinnamon, machines packed it
in cheaper packages. You paid for crunch.
6- Crumble into cinna-bits
those tiny, toasted squares. Your hands
will feel poked (rubbing sandpaper
never tickled like this.) The General
Mills™ stigmata are temporary, yet more
rubbing would break skin. The spirals of it
pile in pyres- mini Cinni-mines make a
7- The plastic dome clouds cold. A repurposed
Dairy Queen™ cake lid keeps your pie from
dirty frost .Your thumbprints are windows to
*prep time increases/decreases depending if scanning groceries/trading stocks